Wednesday, February 28, 2018
Of course, God, let's do this. I mean the last few years, beginning with the fall of 2014, my life has been all about adjustments like dropping off my kids at college, each choosing different states and paths, with the latest this last fall. Along with the empty nest adjustment, we find ourselves in a new ministry, in a new state, new home, new everything really, including a new decade.
And He still wants to do something new and it has nothing to do with all this new external.
I feel deep within. An adjustment of a mindset that has crept in. A wound really that just hasn't healed. Or I haven't allowed it to heal because it lingers. The fear of hoping again pushes in even when my hands are open and I have released it's clutch.
So a couple of months ago, I decided to stop being afraid, even declaring myself pushing into uncomfortable space. I was going to hope again. Begin new ministry and jump back into the game. (#pushingintouncomfortablespace)
Can the final layer of healing happen by a change of mindset? I have decided that yes, it's true.
I am walking in that decision to not allow this thing of a wound to linger and haunt. My mind is ready for this new adjustment. To hope again. And even though, yes, that happened
and yes, it hurt.
Hope is alive and yes, God can heal.
Courage, Dear Heart. (C.S. Lewis)
Time to let go. He has something new.
I AM BACK TO WRITING AND THIS IS WHY------
I don't think they even know but I need to tell them because those moments, I was revived. And the words came easier and my confidence began to swell. I now have a reason.
"You are a really good writer mom, why did you stop?" texted my far away college boy who I didn't even know was paying attention. Because in my mind, it didn't matter and no one was.
But it wasn't until a coast away, and my 3 children looking at me with confidence; "they need you mom, to help with worship. Go for it." And my daughter beginning her own blog, stepping out in faith, that I find myself here again. Making my writing more public. Casting it out there.
We all need a fan, just one really. One who will remind us that there is purpose in your passion. In what makes your heart soar. Who would of thought that my children would be the fans I needed. Echoing words I have been encouraging them with and now here I am.
So Austin, Caleb and Hannah - I do this for you even if no one else ever reads. So you know that your momma perseveres through the challenges and that it isn't just me encouraging you in life's battles but it is me armoring up with you, alongside of you, fighting too.
Check out Hannah's blog!