Thursday, October 10, 2013

Rocky Mountain High.......and God who still fills me.

Me with some of the great gals from Thorncreek!
From the moment the plane took flight out of Portland I sensed God wanted to do something.  I had made all the proper preparations and plans.  My notes from hours of study were complete.  I had carefully typed out my story and just hoped that somehow, someway, it would touch a heart.  Draw a weary heart back to God.  That all the lies that had clouded thinking and impacted my journey would help others see theirs.....and how God Loves and wants us to heal.

As we made our descent into DIA, I slowly adjusted my head in my isle seat so that maybe I could catch a glimpse.  Rocky Mountains, there you are.  The sun was just setting behind and I breathed in and closed my eyes. 

After the hustle to baggage claim, the scurry to find my ride and then we were off. 
And another place of healing began for me.  FOR ME.

From old stomping grounds, familiar restaurants, remembered moments of our life in Colorado.  To all the anticipation of what I might feel once I got here, the wondering if the sadness would come again, and here I was.

I wasn't angry anymore.  I wasn't sad anymore.  I breathed it all in and said thank you for 12 years here.  For what this time meant in our journey.  Even the hard.  And I was thankful........for real.  Maybe for the first time.

And I wasn't even at the retreat God.

I believe it was that last piece I needed.  That last bit being emptied out into His Hands.

Over the next 3 days, He filled me to overflow.  These women listened to my story.  Through even moments of tears and pain in the telling.  As I described my journey through God's healing in my life....with the truth I replaced those lies.....taking every thought captive......finding a way to be thankful.....and relying completely on His Strength alone.

I named this blog in 2011,  Empty to Fill.  It was a phrase that jumped out at me when I was reading Ann VosKamp's  A Thousand Gifts.  God said to start writing........start pouring it all out.  I will fill you.  Since then there have definitely been moments that I have wondered......Is this all God?  We are in Oregon have brought us to a new place.   But is there more?  Do you still have more healing for me?

As I flew home and basked in all that God had done, I was so humbled.  So filled.  Overwhelmed by God that He would choose me and my story.   I know those around me must have thought I was on something........retreat high I guess.
And I heard in my spirit so clearly-
Yes, it is true.  There is more.  And if you continue to empty yourself - I will fill.

The trip was a gift really.  An unexpected gift.  I thought I was bringing a story of healing to others.....
and found another place of healing myself.

No comments: