Friday, July 26, 2013


About 2 months ago I started developing headaches more often than normal for me.  And those headaches became a real hindrance to my existence.  I just plain felt horrible as well as struggling to read, work on the computer (which is my job!) and even focus. 

Time for a Doctor visit.  I already knew THAT time had approached.  It was time to admit I needed bi-focals.  After it was confirmed, I then discovered that my headaches were more than my eyes getting "old".  In fact, without my contacts in or wearing my glasses that I had been prescribed since the age of 8, I could read close-up fine.  I just had to hold it about 2 inches from my face.

The problem was that my eyes were working so hard to focus and in effect my vision had become more blurry.  They needed the right tools.  After going through a variety of options over the last couple of weeks, I have found a pair of contacts that allow me to see clearly.  There has been some adjustments but whether I am on the computer, reading a book or driving my car, I can focus and the headaches are almost completely gone.

Seems crazy to me how the difficulty to focus created such an enormous impact on my life.  My vision issues became a complete disruption in my everyday.   As I contemplate this, I begin to wonder how this relates with the vision we create for our lives.  Because even if you think we don't, we do have a vision for ourselves.

So I looked it up- 
1. the act or power of sensing with the eyes; sight.
2. the act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be
3. an experience in which a personage, thing, or event appears vividly or credibly to the mind
4. something seen or otherwise perceived during such an experience
5. a vivid, imaginative conception or anticipation: visions of wealth and glory.
6. something seen; an object of sight.
7. a scene, person, etc., of extraordinary beauty
But what if our vision is off and we don't even realize it.    We are not seeing things clearly.   And how do we know really?   If you are like me, you want to be confident that how you are seeing the world, this life, is right-  That it's the best and clearest vision possible.

To the Bible I went searching and found this written by Paul to the Philippians in chapter 3-

12-14 I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.
15-16 So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.
17 Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them.
20-21 But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He’ll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.

I just needed some additional tools- the best ones for my eyes- to boost my vision.  Changed everything.   If we are using the wrong or faulty tools, how could we ever even think we are going to be seeing correctly- clearly.  And as much as I wish I didn't have to put contacts in my eyes EVERY morning to be able to see, I do.  I KNOW this.
Just like I KNOW I must look to the ONE who sets my eyes on the goal.  Not just once, or when I am in trouble.  But EVERYDAY.   And in Him and through His transformational work in my heart on a daily basis, I am changed.  Changed forever......
                                                     made beautiful and whole in His sight.

How is your vision these days?

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

in the Middle

some would call that stuck
others would say it's being right at the heart of it

For me, this middle has been a struggle.  A friend sent me birthday wishes back in January, welcoming me to "the heart of middle age".  45.   The other day, I felt more stuck than at the heart of anything.  Disappointment, weariness and sadness swept over me and hung like a lingering storm front.
Not everything has gone as planned. In fact, now as I ponder on it, nothing has.
BUT God.  At every twist in my story, He has been what has sustained me.

So, here I am in the middle; of middle age, of the summer, of life. 

I am working and pushing thru this challenge, this hurt, theses struggles.  It's what's making me real.  My faith REAL.

A faith that is undeniable.  Not because of what other's have experienced or stories read from long ago.  But MY STORY. 
The one I am writing everyday.  Even in my choice as to how I view this middle I find myself in.

May I see everyday as the Heart of my life.  And that this heart is beating for what is most important.
my faith
my loves.....dale, austin, caleb, hannah

what carries on for all eternity.