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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Today

My 3, the ones who carry a part of me, struggled out the door with heads down, each with their complaint.  Of why life simply wasn't measuring up and or how staying in bed was a much better option.
Yes, my loves, I know.  I understand.  But you must soldier on!
 One stating how much they hated school and was never going to find friends.  One with aches and pains and how awful it was going to be walking around all day.  One who doesn't utter a word........but doesn't have to.  The pain behind his eyes is almost more than I can bear.

As a mom, you so want to just make it all better, all good, all fun and laughter.....and pain-free.

I plopped into my chair here after pouring myself another cup of coffee.  Thankful for finally getting them out the door if for no other reason than a breather from the drama- and the complaining.

I know that so much of this is the sheer fact that they are 12, 14 and 15 and a half and this is our battleground.  This is where we are digging it out everyday.  Teaching them how life goes with all of it's ins and outs.
There is a delicate balance between pushing your children forward.......and pushing them away.  Between the "pulling up your bootstraps" and holding them through hard days.

Sometimes I long for the days when they crawled in my lap and just wanted me to read to them or share with me a secret or funny story.  When going to the park and pushing them on the swings, playing in the sand made for a most special day.  Closing my eyes I can see their sweet faces and hear their laughter.

And today I will hear their laughter again.....  different though.  After they settle in from school, give me the latest, play a few video games, eat a snack, grumble (cause that is what they do), and probably argue about something, however ridiculous it is..........  we will laugh.  I will make sure of it. 
And try to connect with them if only for just a moment,
to love them just where they are.........


and never stop pointing them towards all they can be.

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.
 ~a portion of 1 Cor. 13 from The Message

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