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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Dance

Be inspired today!  (turn off the blogs music at the bottom of this page so  you can hear this video!)
The young women will dance for joy,and the men—old and young—will join in the celebration.  I will turn their mourning into joy.  I will comfort them and exchange their sorrow for rejoicing.    Jer. 31:13

And leaving their shoes was icing on the cake :)

Celebrate all He has done for you today!




Saturday, August 20, 2011

Men


As I watched my boys from our side yard learn to maneuver this large piece of machinery I caught a lump in my throat.
They are becoming men.  No longer am I tripping over cars, legos and the latest action figure.
When did this happen?  I mean I was there and I have been watching.
But today as I admired I got a glimpse. Of a man.
Austin is almost as tall as Dad.

Who cries watching their son mow a field?

I do. 
                                                                                   


What is this world going to look like for them?

And this momma prayed.

Prayed that I could Love them.
Prepare them.
That I could be strong and courageous~
so that they would be.

That I could be thankful for
ALL of the moments in life.
Finally learn to be content- with myself,
with all I have.......to trust only in my God.

So they would learn to be thankful - everyday...... and learn                                                      
To be content.
That they would understand trust.

God, help me.

Teach me everyday.

Because if I don't go after it
and possess it,
How can I possibly
teach it to them?

To these men in training who are entrusted to me.

My beautiful sons.

Each day is a gift.
Oh, to live that way!
Help me, God!
I am so thankful for moments such as these that I can reflect.  Ponder really, on all that I have and all that I want to be ~ for my men. 
(my girl too, but that is another blog!)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Blackberries

"I have the perfect place to pick blackberries!", we were told.  Loading up the explorer with our bowls and visions of fresh blackberries.
Just a few miles down the road is all we had to travel.  And to think I almost purchased some in the grocery store!  We pulled up to a hiking area and excitedly we went on our first real hunt for fruit other than our friends backyard!
Amazingly there they hung all along the path.  Thousands upon thousands of blackberries!  It was difficult not to want to eat as we picked but we managed to return with a huge bowl full.

As we picked, our friend asked, "Isn't there blackberries in your yard?"  "There used to be."

I had noticed after we moved in that it looked like we may have some vines but they had not yielded anything.  And I really hadn't noticed since.

Since we got back home after it was starting to get dark, I didn't go and investigate the blackberry possibility until the next morning.

And there they were.........I couldn't believe it.


Not only did we have some blackberries but different spots in the back and sides of our yard where they grew.  As I perused around I began to discover many things I hadn't seen before.  Beauty all around.  Despite the fact so much work needs to be down there is much promise.


And it is all right here, in my own backyard.  I missed it.
So often I just miss what is so present and clearly in front of me.  I am looking beyond or elsewhere.  Something better has to be over THERE.  But it is not.
It is Here.
Here in my everyday.  I have so much.
God please help me to see it.  Believe it.  Give me Your eyes to see the glory.  Your glory.  The beautiful in each day.  What I hold right now in this very moment.  All the gifts.  All the grace.  You have given it and I miss it.......
Blackberries in my own backyard.....

Psalm 66 in The Message translation~

   1 -4 All together now—applause for God! Sing songs to the tune of his glory,
      set glory to the rhythms of his praise.
   Say of God, "We've never seen anything like him!"
      When your enemies see you in action,
      they slink off like scolded dogs.
   The whole earth falls to its knees—
      it worships you, sings to you,
      can't stop enjoying your name and fame.

   5 -6 Take a good look at God's wonders—
      they'll take your breath away.
   He converted sea to dry land;
      travelers crossed the river on foot.
      Now isn't that cause for a song?

   7 Ever sovereign in his high tower, he keeps
      his eye on the godless nations.
   Rebels don't dare
      raise a finger against him.

   8 -12 Bless our God, O peoples!
      Give him a thunderous welcome!
   Didn't he set us on the road to life?
      Didn't he keep us out of the ditch?
   He trained us first,
      passed us like silver through refining fires,
   Brought us into hardscrabble country,
      pushed us to our very limit,
   Road-tested us inside and out,
      took us to hell and back;
   Finally he brought us
      to this well-watered place.

   13 -15 I'm bringing my prizes and presents to your house.
      I'm doing what I said I'd do,
   What I solemnly swore I'd do
      that day when I was in so much trouble:
   The choicest cuts of meat
      for the sacrificial meal;
   Even the fragrance
      of roasted lamb is like a meal!
   Or make it an ox
      garnished with goat meat!

   16 -20 All believers, come here and listen,
      let me tell you what God did for me.
   I called out to him with my mouth,
      my tongue shaped the sounds of music.
   If I had been cozy with evil,
      the Lord would never have listened.
   But he most surely did listen,
      he came on the double when he heard my prayer.
   Blessed be God: he didn't turn a deaf ear,
      he stayed with me, loyal in his love.





Thursday, August 11, 2011

2 Months

Two months today we listened to the gravel beneath our Explorer as it pulled into our new home.  Moments earlier, we chatted along the way from our hotel room of all that was possible.  Foreheads pressed against windows in wonder of all this new.  Anticipation of what was to come.  Many miles had been traveled for this new adventure laid out before us.
Our 3 had trusted us with this journey.  Trusted that they would find a place that would be theirs.
Like they had in Colorado.

Overwhelmed by the sheer fact they were there, we jumped out of our vehicles and began greeting and thanking.  Many had come to help us fill our home.  And so it began.  Our new life unfolding.

The moving truck is long gone.  We have settled into somewhat of a routine.  Found the best grocery stores.  The post office.  The bank.  Still gathering all of the details of our life into one place.  2 major moves in less than a year and things begin to scatter.   But it's coming together.  Still not sure I will get used to this climate.  Hasn't really felt like summer to me.  Although we haven't had to deal with the high heat and humidity like some much of the country.  That has been a good thing.  But just wait for the rain to come they tell us.........
Great, can't wait!
Painting is done, with the exception of the laundry room but I had come to the end of my painting frenzy and decided for a break.  Still need to put up some pictures and finish some organizing.  Still need a kitchen table and furniture for our family room but that will come in due time as well.


Several weeks lay out before us and then school starts. More milestone in this process of transition.  Some times of uneasiness and adjustments yet to come.  My kids need friends, so while I am not looking forward to school and all that comes with it, I will be grateful for new formed relationships.

The church is slowly springing up with new life.  Anticipation is building.  So much work to be done but oh the possibilities.

2 things I have learned in these months.........not just these last 2 months but over this last year.  We are almost coming up to one year since we left Colorado.  The sting from that day lingered for such a long time.  This year has been heart-breaking.  Painful.  But I have learned and the even better news for me is that I haven't just learned but I have been transformed.  Bettered.

1- God DOES provide.  Usually last minute.  Up until these last months have I realized that I had been more often times that not,  jumped ahead of God and fixed it myself before He even had a chance to do His thing.......which is SO MUCH greater than my fix.  (Genesis 22)
Which brings me to #2-  Don't get ahead of God!  Stay with Him-- abide.  (John 15)

Now we are watching Him do amazing things in our lives.  We miss Colorado.  We really miss family.  But I am constantly in awe of how with each day I am gaining confidence in this adventure God is allowing us to be a part of.  His adventure for us.  So much possibility I can hardly stand it.  But I take a step back and remember........what I have learned.  And breathe.

all that in 2 months....... plus a lifetime :) 

   





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Monday, August 8, 2011

Swing

The joy of summer. Dale put a tire swing in our front yard!
Carefree squeals and belly laughs. Letting go....feeling the rush.
Living in the moments. Thank you God for each. They are all Yours. Keep our hands open and eyes wide so we may embrace and not miss a single one.





Saturday, August 6, 2011

Weeds

When I first purchased the flowers, I could hardly wait to get them in the ground. Bring life to my yard. But there was a problem. Weeds. Something about weeds that take away from your landscaping. So the flowers held on in their little plastic homes waiting to be planted.

Finally I had an opportunity to weed. Blue skies, not too hot and even a nice breeze. Digging in the dirt I began. Interesting thing about weeds, it almost becomes a game. Can you get the whole thing out in one pull? Including the root. Sometimes it comes out almost effortlessly. Others, well, you just know that you will be pulling out that one again sometime soon.

With the weeds gone, the flowers could go in their place. Color, texture, beauty. Love the beauty. As I dug each hole and laid in the new foliage, I thought about the weeds. The ugliness.
The weeds in my life. The junk that needs to go. I wonder what beauty is waiting in it's little plastic container.........waiting to be planted. For life.

Been doing a lot of weed pulling in the last year. Some anger here.
Bitterness there. Little doubt over there. Even a little pride perhaps?

Realizing that when I see the weed, I had been thinking I can handle it. Just tug a little. You won't see it anymore. Even thanking God for helping me.
But getting to the root?
Only the gentle yet mighty hand of God can do that kind of work. I can't. Despite my best efforts. Best intentions.

Help me God to allow you unlimited access to my garden. Me.
Where you need to weed.
And let me be thankful for it.
Even if it's painful. Hard to look at. Admit.
Yet ever thankful.
For the beauty in it's place.


For the garden in me you are ever cultivating.

Still learning to live fully right here.......so thankful for this journey.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Camp

It all started the summer before 5th grade. I got to go to camp and I fell in love. Not with a boy- but with the few moments that I got to be away. Free from parents, school, responsibility and just enjoy myself. And as I got older it became a growing place for me. True spiritual markers. I remember vividly counting the days until camp. So you can imagine my anticipation with dropping my own 3 off at camp yesterday.
My Hannah experiencing camp for the first time but all 3 new to this camp. Oregon kids. As we pulled up I eyed the premises closely, pondering what must have been going through their heads. They hadn't been counting the days. We insisted that they go. An opportunity we said. You need to make friends.....you will have a blast we promised.
The awkwardness. The nervousness was palatable as Dale left us glued to our seats, staring out the windshield. Kids were pouring out of their cars. Energy for what was to come. And we sat. Silence. After what seemed like an hour we spotted him coming around the building, paper in hand and I said to them....you are going to have so much fun.
I am not sure if I was trying to convince myself or them.


We got them safely into their cabins. Even met a few kids. It was time to go. If left to me, I would of found a room and stayed. To be sure. Sure that they would be okay. If you are a mom, you know the feeling. Little girl eyes pleading with me to stay. Boys giving me the look of - please go mom, but- don't really leave me here. I admit I stalled a bit. Probably lingered too long. My heart was heavy....and full. These 3, the love I feel I hardly can find words.

As we drove off, I kept my eyes on them. Watched as they made their way into an open field full of others. I scanned the area.....would they be accepted? Cared for? Then I couldn't see them anymore.
They will be fine Dale tells me.
I know.
I was......remember, I loved camp. They will too. I prayed. Prayed that they would quickly find their bearings, find friends. Connect. And most importantly connect with God.
Camp was that for me.
These are just one of the many steps of letting go.
Of watching all that you've invested in and poured into flourish. Live. If you smother it....it will never grow and be all that it is suppose to be.
And of Trusting God.
Be with my kids God. I trust you with them. Allow them to fall in love with camp.....fall in love with you.